First up, apologies for the whinging tone of this post. But unfortunately for all of you, (not that I think that many people read this), this is the point of my posts, to freely whinge, complain and get the monkey off my back in a guilt and consequence free environment.
I think I have pretty much covered everything about being poor (well not everything, I’m reserving the right to come back to it in another post), so today I want to rip into the wealthy.
I think what probably shits me the most is, if you don’t have wealth, it’s near impossible to get it. Yes, there is the old adage about working very hard and being dedicated, but I work very hard and I am very dedicated and ya’ll know I’m not rich. I can imagine that if you are born into money, that it would be easy to maintain it. You have affluent people advising you about any financial decisions, you have family supporting you (providing a nice place to live, paying the bills in said house) allowing you to focus on making more money, and everyone around you in your social group are also bloody wealthy. If you make a bad choice, you write it off and start with the next venture. Or one of your friends gives you an executive level job and after a few years, you are back in the same position as whence you first started. All the while living in a nice house, and definitely not struggling.
But how do you get it if you never had it??
I am sure luck is a big factor in some of these cases, but you sure as shit can’t earn luck. And I think luck actually follows the same premise as wealth. Surround yourself with ‘lucky’ people and it seems to draw you in. Things start going right, you get that promotion you have been angling for, your kid gets a scholarship that you were hoping for. It’s stuffed. I swear to the Good Lord above, I have no stinking luck.
And I guess the thing that is really bothering me the most, is how upset I feel about it all, cheated if you like. I have become a bitter, twisted shell of my former self, and just don’t remember this happening. I see people driving a new car, not a really expensive car, just a standard new car, and I feel hatred. “How do they have a new car and I’m still borrowing my mums car to go to work?” Or the lady I work with was talking about how her daughter is going away for the weekend, not overseas or anything. “Bitch” I thought. I have always struggled, and have never been able to even take my kids on a proper holiday. Sure, we have been to funerals and stayed the night in a cheap motel, but that doesn’t really cut it, does it?
When I have heard things like this is the past, I would instantly think….”Good on her, I’m sure she needs a break” or “That’s nice, you have finally bought a new car for yourself, good on you”. What happened to me?
I am a hard worker, I try and pay my bills, but after I pay for the rent and bills, there is nothing left. I can never get ahead. I,
(as previous readers would know) have even started another part time job, just to put food on the table. That’s why I think people who are born into wealth must just have it so good. I have a million ideas for businesses, just no one to listen or finance me, like I said earlier, I am not surrounded by profitable people. I think I could really take charge of a project or established business, but, don’t know any rich business people to give me an executive role.
So, not only am I a poor, unlucky woman, but now I am also a bitter and twisted poor, unlucky woman. And I really hate that about myself.
I guess one plus is that I don’t really portray to this to anyone. I keep my hatred and opinions to myself. My work colleagues would probably describe me as a bubbly, helpful and thoughtful employee. HA! If only they knew the truth :)